It’s a balancing act. You have to just push that to the back of your mind and kinda sit back like you are watching a movie but still, just lightly will things that you want to happen to come to fruition.
I had HORRIBLE nightmares about wolves from like age 4 to 10. Every, damn, night. So many of them that I think my imagination started to run out of terrifying ideas, and I’d start having repeats of the same dream.
Once that started, I knew I was in a dream and I would frantically try to wake myself up ASAP before the scary parts started. I would try to fall on my face or slam my head into a wall as hard as I could in the dream.
That’s when I realized I had some agency in my dreams as long as I knew I was in a dream. I just got better and better at it until eventually I was blowing wolves away with rocket launchers or fighting them with samurai swords and shit.
I can still kind of lucid dream when I realize I’m dreaming but I think I smoked too much weed in my college years and anyone who does that knows that you don’t really remember your dreams at all. So I must have lost practice or something.